Placement number 3

Our 3rd placement was a challenge. It was a 12 yr old boy "A". He came from a boys home where he had been living for about 6 months. He had alot of anger issues and didn't want to be part of our family. Even though he had been abused horribly by both his parents he really wanted to go home to his dad. He would do things to push our buttons constantly. If I took him to the store he would say really loud will you buy me a lighter so that I can smoke some weed. And of course everyone would turn around and look at me like I was an unfit mother. So I started saying "You need to ask your social worker and if she says you can smoke weed I will buy you the lighter. Well of course he quit doing this sort of thing in public because it embarrassed himself. We also had quite a few violent episodes with him also. He had a social worker that would call and ask to talk to him and would tell him lies about was happening with his case and of course this would just get him to act out. He was in reunification and had counseling and weekly visits with his dad. His court cases were in nevada city about an hour from us and his social worker requested that he be at everyone. He was with us for 5 months and he had a court case every month. Every month they would postpone it and tell his dad he had more things to do to beable to get his son back. A also had a sister but the sister wanted nothing to do with the father. At the last court date my husband took A and when he came back he walked in the door and I said where is A. He said they sent him home. I thought he was joking. I said what? They really did send him home from the court room, no time to say good bye or anything, we were instructed to give all his things to the social worker to give to him. As difficult as he was I thought when he went home I would want to celebrate but I didn't it was kinda sad.We actly missed him a great deal, even though most of the time he was pushing our buttons he really was a sweet kid and I guess we attached to him more then we realized. I have prayed for him many times since he left our house. I heard that he went back into fostercare almost a year later. So sad, I just hope he realized after we left that we did care.........

Hope everyone had a good new years eve. As I think about this last year there have been so many changes in our family both good and bad. 2 of my daughters got engaged this last year. One of them graduated from college with a BA degree,she is currently doing her teaching intership in a 3rd grade classroom.We are so proud of her. My grandbabies are turning into little people and growing up they are now 1 and 3. The new year holds many possibilities and I know that if we put our trust in God we will see many awesome things unfold in the coming year.Welcome to 2009.......

our second placement

Our call for our second placement came about a month and a half after we got J. It was on a saturday afternoon and the social worker called and asked if we would take an emergency placement for a newborn girl being release from the hospital. She was a drug baby and they needed a placement just until monday. Of course I said yes. I walked out to the garage where my husband was working and told him we are getting a newborn baby girl in about an hour. He thought I was joking. She was an adorable baby and so good. We loved her and had so much fun with her. On Monday they asked us if we could keep her for a couple more weeks. Then it turned into a few more weeks and then until she comes up for adoption. When she finally did come up for adoption they asked us first if we wanted her since she had been in our home for 6 months. We prayed about it and felt it wasn't right.We felt we were suppose to be available to help others.That was so hard saying we decided not to adopt her. I loved her like my own and felt like I was rejecting my own baby, but I also felt that God had a home for her.I prayed many times God are you sure. She stayed in our home 11 1/2 months before they found the right adoptive family. When we finally got the call that they found a family and they would be coming over to meet us in 2 days and then set up several meetings over a week and then she would leave I didn't know if I could go through with it. I cried for those 2 days. But when we met the couple we knew it was right. They were a christian couple that couldn't have children of their own. They had been married 11 years. The dad looked similiar to my husband and the baby kept looking at him and then my husband and then him and then my husband. She seemed to take to the dad immediately and to the mom shortly after that. The couple that adopted her sent us pictures twice a year for the next 5 yrs and let us know how she was doing. They adopted another baby a few years later. A little boy and they invited me and my older daughters to the baby shower. It was so bittersweet. Handing them the baby for the last time was the hardest thing we have ever done and yet it was so awesome to be part of that families miracle. To be able to give them such an amazing gift.

Our first placement

We waited anxiously for our first placement. We were so excited to see what God had in store for our family. Every time the phone rang we wondered is this the call that is going to change our lives? Finally we got our first placement a 9 yr old boy J. J was adorable,small for his age. He had blonde hair and really big blue eyes.He was removed from his home because of neglect,abuse and drug addiction. All 10 kids and the mom were found living in a condemned house with no electricity and no running water. The kids went to the bathroom in the toilets, tub, sinks until they were full, then in the corners. He remained in our home for 2 1/2 yrs. He had 9 siblings, and had visits with all 9 siblings and the mom once a month.The dad was in prison. The visits were supervised at the county office. He was a good kid but had attachment problems. He had a wall up, not to let anyone get to close. He was scared of getting hurt again. After him being in our home for 2 yrs they terminated the parental the parental rights and adopted out the 3 younger girls. They asked the fosterparents of the boys if they would be interested in adoption ,guardanship or long term placement. We felt because of his age and his attachment problems that adoption was not the right answer but agreed to long term placement. As soon as they terminated the parental rights and started talking about making a permanent plan he started acting out. He broke out our upstairs window twice and threatened to jump out of it. He threatened to jump over our upstairs balcony, ran away, started fighting. We had to call the cops on a couple occasions. Once he was 51/50 and sent to mental health for 4 days. Eventually we felt we had no choice but to give notice. The day the social worker came to move him he was playing out front with his 2 best friends, he just got up came in and got his bags and got in the car. No goodbye or anything. He didn't even say goodbye to his friends or tell them he was moving. A few days later they came to see if J could play. We found it so sad that he could be in our home for 2 1/2 yrs and just walk away unattached as if he was just going for a ride. There seemed to be no emotion.......

moving forward towards our journey

We didn't give any more thought to fosterparenting until about 3 years later. Me and my husband started talking about it again and prayed about it and decided it was time to become fosterparents. We really felt called to do this. We thought we will provide a loving home for these kids and care for them until their parents can get their act together and they are able to go home. Unfortunately we found out this is not reality. Only about 10% of the kids go home and out of those 25% go back into fostercare within the first year. But we were ready to move forward on this journey. We had to do everything over again because too much time had pasted.We were excited about the possibilities that were before us. We agreed to take in kids between the ages of newborn to 10 yrs old

our journey to fosterparent

I really felt when I had my first child that all children deserve to be wanted and live in a house full of love where there needs are met. I vowed that someday I wanted to do fostercare. I went on with life having several more children and didn't give much thought to it. Until about 8 yrs later and then I started talking to my husband about doing fostercare, he agreed that it was something that we should do. We checked into it, went through the orientation, the cpr and first aid classes, tb tested and had everything in place all we had left to do was the home inspection. We prayed about it and decided that our children were still too young and this wasn't the right time.

HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE?

When people see me with all the kids or they ask me how many kids I have and I answer 7 I usually get some type of response such as " How do you do it?" "Are you done?"," Do you know what causes that?" "Are they ALL yours?". When people find out that 3 of them are adopted, there whole tune changes and these same people who thought I couldn't possibly be a good mom to 7 children giving them what they need and providing for them suddenly act like I am GOD because I rescued and am giving these children a home. How come if I adopted them I can provide and take care of 7 children but If they are all my birth children there is no way I could do it and I must have a screw loose for having so many kids?
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