Saturday, December 27, 2008
Our call for our second placement came about a month and a half after we got J. It was on a saturday afternoon and the social worker called and asked if we would take an emergency placement for a newborn girl being release from the hospital. She was a drug baby and they needed a placement just until monday. Of course I said yes. I walked out to the garage where my husband was working and told him we are getting a newborn baby girl in about an hour. He thought I was joking. She was an adorable baby and so good. We loved her and had so much fun with her. On Monday they asked us if we could keep her for a couple more weeks. Then it turned into a few more weeks and then until she comes up for adoption. When she finally did come up for adoption they asked us first if we wanted her since she had been in our home for 6 months. We prayed about it and felt it wasn't right.We felt we were suppose to be available to help others.That was so hard saying we decided not to adopt her. I loved her like my own and felt like I was rejecting my own baby, but I also felt that God had a home for her.I prayed many times God are you sure. She stayed in our home 11 1/2 months before they found the right adoptive family. When we finally got the call that they found a family and they would be coming over to meet us in 2 days and then set up several meetings over a week and then she would leave I didn't know if I could go through with it. I cried for those 2 days. But when we met the couple we knew it was right. They were a christian couple that couldn't have children of their own. They had been married 11 years. The dad looked similiar to my husband and the baby kept looking at him and then my husband and then him and then my husband. She seemed to take to the dad immediately and to the mom shortly after that. The couple that adopted her sent us pictures twice a year for the next 5 yrs and let us know how she was doing. They adopted another baby a few years later. A little boy and they invited me and my older daughters to the baby shower. It was so bittersweet. Handing them the baby for the last time was the hardest thing we have ever done and yet it was so awesome to be part of that families miracle. To be able to give them such an amazing gift.
We waited anxiously for our first placement. We were so excited to see what God had in store for our family. Every time the phone rang we wondered is this the call that is going to change our lives? Finally we got our first placement a 9 yr old boy J. J was adorable,small for his age. He had blonde hair and really big blue eyes.He was removed from his home because of neglect,abuse and drug addiction. All 10 kids and the mom were found living in a condemned house with no electricity and no running water. The kids went to the bathroom in the toilets, tub, sinks until they were full, then in the corners. He remained in our home for 2 1/2 yrs. He had 9 siblings, and had visits with all 9 siblings and the mom once a month.The dad was in prison. The visits were supervised at the county office. He was a good kid but had attachment problems. He had a wall up, not to let anyone get to close. He was scared of getting hurt again. After him being in our home for 2 yrs they terminated the parental the parental rights and adopted out the 3 younger girls. They asked the fosterparents of the boys if they would be interested in adoption ,guardanship or long term placement. We felt because of his age and his attachment problems that adoption was not the right answer but agreed to long term placement. As soon as they terminated the parental rights and started talking about making a permanent plan he started acting out. He broke out our upstairs window twice and threatened to jump out of it. He threatened to jump over our upstairs balcony, ran away, started fighting. We had to call the cops on a couple occasions. Once he was 51/50 and sent to mental health for 4 days. Eventually we felt we had no choice but to give notice. The day the social worker came to move him he was playing out front with his 2 best friends, he just got up came in and got his bags and got in the car. No goodbye or anything. He didn't even say goodbye to his friends or tell them he was moving. A few days later they came to see if J could play. We found it so sad that he could be in our home for 2 1/2 yrs and just walk away unattached as if he was just going for a ride. There seemed to be no emotion.......
We didn't give any more thought to fosterparenting until about 3 years later. Me and my husband started talking about it again and prayed about it and decided it was time to become fosterparents. We really felt called to do this. We thought we will provide a loving home for these kids and care for them until their parents can get their act together and they are able to go home. Unfortunately we found out this is not reality. Only about 10% of the kids go home and out of those 25% go back into fostercare within the first year. But we were ready to move forward on this journey. We had to do everything over again because too much time had pasted.We were excited about the possibilities that were before us. We agreed to take in kids between the ages of newborn to 10 yrs old
I really felt when I had my first child that all children deserve to be wanted and live in a house full of love where there needs are met. I vowed that someday I wanted to do fostercare. I went on with life having several more children and didn't give much thought to it. Until about 8 yrs later and then I started talking to my husband about doing fostercare, he agreed that it was something that we should do. We checked into it, went through the orientation, the cpr and first aid classes, tb tested and had everything in place all we had left to do was the home inspection. We prayed about it and decided that our children were still too young and this wasn't the right time.